Do You Like You?

26 Jun

In my recent struggles and frustrations, I have been reflecting on many aspects of my own life. I came to this conclusion – I don’t like me. I don’t like the person I’ve become.

Maybe its because, somewhere out there, I believe there’s a better version of me. Someone who has adventure in his life. Someone who  lives with passion. Someone who has drive in his life. It’s a sad moment when a man must face his reality. No dreams, no lofty ideas, no imaginations, no better versions of ourselves. Just the stale, the mundane, the awful reality of what we see in the mirror. No glorious plans for the future, no goals, no taste.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we let people change us. We let the people we love, change us into a person more palatable to them. We give up some freedoms, some choices. Sometimes, we kill our own goals, so that the people we love can be happy with us.

But what if, in all that giving up and having someone love us, we end up hating ourselves? What if we end up losing our dreams, our passions? What if we don’t like the man we’ve become?

Well…. we die. To others, we function, like robots we go on with their idea of “living”. But in us, in our heart of hearts, we have died. We have lost the things the excite us, things that give us reasons to hope and breathe. We die.

So that’s what will happen — this guy that I wish I could be – the guy that goes surfing whenever he gets a chance, the guy that climbs mountains, the guy that jumps out of helicopters to snowboard down a mountain, the guy that builds and restores vintage bikes and rides with an unyielding smile on his face —

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